Holidays with Kids and Ex-Spouse

Though we typically think of the holidays as a time of joy and togetherness, the reality for divorced couples with kids is slightly more complicated. Even if you have an amicable relationship with your ex, finding a holiday visitation schedule with your kids that works for everyone can sometimes seem impossible.

That's why some couples do what many might think is highly unorthodox: spend the holidays together for the sake of the kids.

Is it a bad idea? As always, it depends on the family.

Ex-spouses arguing with each other in front of their children

It's not a small decision. The choice of school your child will attend will significantly impact the direction and shape of their life. But what happens when your ex-spouse is at odds with your decision?

The divorce is final; you have settled on the agreement and are receiving alimony payments. But what happens if your ex-spouse loses their job? Your agreement may need a modification.

Custody rules are designed to protect the health, well-being and best interests of the child and for the child to grow and maintain their relationship with both parents. Ideally, both parents might have an equitable visitation schedule.

However, sometimes, the court may perceive that one of the parents may come with risks that require more protection for the child. In such cases, the court will sometimes require that visitation by one parent be supervised by a third party.

Picture this.

Your divorce is settled and done, and as you rebuild your life, you discover a horrifying secret—your ex-spouse hid significant assets from you during the divorce! You had a legal right to claim a portion of those assets, which could have changed your entire divorce agreement!

But the divorce is over and done. What do you do now?

It's not too late. California Family Code section 2556 provides a legal remedy, and the penalty to the spouse who hid the assets can be severe. 

Proving what is in the best interest of your child is crucial in determining which parent gets legal and physical custody and how visitation schedules will sort out. In addition to your solid arguments and evidence, should you bring in an expert to bolster your case? In some cases, yes.

California is a community property state, meaning any debt acquired during a marriage must be equally divided between the spouses upon a divorce. So regardless of any agreement you may have made in your divorce decree, there is always the possibility that your ex won't pay their fair share of your joint debt—and that can be a big problem.

So, what do you do?

I have seen the dilemma that parents face all the time. They need to hire a lawyer to navigate the complicated legal system to file for custody, but they lack the funds or resources to get it going. Unfortunately, it happens all too often – thousands of people make too much money to qualify for legal aid, yet not enough money to hire an attorney to help them file for custody.

Luckily, there is an attractive option.